If you’ve ever read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson and studied it the way the wealthiest people among us have, then you’re already ten steps ahead of your peers. Some may believe that books like The 48 Laws of Power and Atomic Habits are the only books they should have in their collection when starting their wealth-building journey, but this is not true. While those two books serve an independent purpose, it is important to note that building wealth isn’t about outsmarting masters or starting your day at the crack of dawn. It’s more than that. Much more.
Based on its title, some would believe that The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* is about “not caring,” but that’s not quite correct. It’s about what you choose to care about and how that choice shapes your life, your stress, and ultimately your outcomes. What is the book really about? At its core, the book argues three uncomfortable truths: suffering is unavoidable, life is not about eliminating stress or problems, and life is about choosing better problems. Ever heard the saying, “Life is hard, so choose your hard”? It’s difficult to start a business and requires long hours of work. It can also be difficult to have an employer and fear losing your job one day, or to work long hours at the office and miss your children’s milestones as they grow. Life is about choice, and there’s a game that depicts this perfectly. Ironically enough, it’s called The Game of Life.
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Manson introduces the idea that humans have limited emotional bandwidth, which means there’s a limited number of things one can truly care about. Wasting energy on trivial things or things you cannot control is often what leads to burnout. This is the subtle art: caring only about what matters. Peer pressure can lead many people to develop unhealthy habits or chase the wrong values, which are often externally validating and tied to instability. Money, status, and validation are among the things eroding our society at its core, and it’s not just from the wealthy, whose homes are shown to us without their permission through drone shots taken and published by TMZ. It can be your neighbor, your co-worker, or even a family member.
We’ve begun seeing the lives of so many people in such large quantities that our brains react to this dopamine hit by wanting instant gratification all of the time, and the second we don’t receive it, we start overthinking and overanalyzing, which leads to stagnation. This delays us from the very thing we’re chasing. Growth is uncomfortable and needs to be faced head-on. The more you try to avoid discomfort, the worse your life becomes.
The book is not telling you, or wealthy people, not to stress. It’s telling us all that we need to allocate our stress elsewhere. Don’t have time to do your laundry because you’re working long hours? Find a laundry pick-up and drop-off service. Don’t have time to clean your home and feel too ashamed to invite guests? Hire someone to clean it. Chronic stress about bills, survival, social comparison, and immediate validation are all things that create high-frequency, low-control stress.
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We even see this play out in the way people behave. People with lower socioeconomic status, or those who live paycheck to paycheck, tend to experience more constant background stress, often reflected in higher cortisol levels (a stress hormone), elevated heart rates, and increased blood pressure during daily life. This status is often linked to higher uncertainty, stress, and anxiety. “How am I paying rent?” “I need this check.” “What do people think of me?” All of this aligns with Manson’s “bad values,” as discussed in the novel.
Behaviorally, this can show up as moving faster through life. It’s an ongoing joke that New Yorkers are always on the go and walk fast, but this is often a reaction to their environment, which keeps them in a constant state of heightened stress. A criminal can attack at any moment, a boss can lose patience because their employee’s train was delayed again, or an employee can get lost because a GPS sent them down the wrong avenue in Queens.
Moving quickly, scanning environments more frequently, reacting quickly, overreacting to certain arguments, becoming belligerent or aggressive, and having less tolerance for silence or stillness are all signs tied to socioeconomic stress levels. The wealthy, on the other hand, have mastered the art of allowing things to unfold more naturally and tend to appreciate silence or slower-paced environments such as an opera or ballet.
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Things like time scarcity and time abundance also play a significant role in how we manage stress. If you’re financially strained, time feels scarce, decisions feel urgent, and everything becomes more compressed and reactive. That 5 p.m. deadline for your term paper or that document your employer needs drafted becomes exponentially more urgent when the outcome is directly tied to your survival. “If I mess this up, I’ll lose my job and won’t be able to make rent next month,” or “If I fail this class, I may not be able to graduate and find a good job.” Wealthier individuals often experience the opposite and can sometimes be identified by how slowly they speak or how calm they appear. They have more control over their schedules, fewer immediate survival pressures, and the ability to slow down without immediate consequences.
What most people don’t realize is that our surroundings train our nervous system. From a young age, many are taught to operate within strict deadlines and consequences. For the wealthy, those pressures can be less immediate, even in childhood. The more financially strained a person is, the more chaotic their environment often becomes—noisy, crowded, unpredictable, and fast-paced environments become normalized. For the wealthy, it’s often slower speech, quieter environments, and more controlled pacing in affluent spaces.
The uncomfortable truth is this: your income is not solely the reason you’re not wealthy—being in survival mode is. This book resonates with the wealthy and those building wealth because it serves as a blueprint for understanding why the wealthy and the struggling operate within completely different psychological systems.
The choice is yours.
Image Credit: Photo by Courtesy of Warner Bros. Picture - © 2013 Bazmark Film III Pty Limited
Mira Barr writes on literature, exploring the books that shape thought, influence decision-making, and reflect cultural shifts. Her work highlights both emerging and established voices, offering readers a curated perspective on reading as both leisure and intellectual investment.
